Tonight, I sit here alone. That is happening a little more often these days, as my son grows up. It’s quite a strange feeling; sometimes a lonely feeling, only rarely a feeling of relief. Tonight, to the east of me I see through my living room window, a big, bright, beautiful full moon, shining through a few remaining puffy, cumulus clouds. Through my dining room window, I can see the lights of Mount Spokane Ski Resort decorate the rim of the mountain as it is silhouetted against the western sky. Just before Matt left tonight to go meet friends for ice cream down town, he asked me to make peanut butter cookies for him; so the smell of burnt cookies lingers through the house (I burned the first batch, as is normal with me). Geraldo drones in the background. I don’t know why I have the TV on; I guess it’s because he is talking about the recent earth quake in Chile and I half-heartedly wanted to hear what was taking place. The other half of me just wants to sit in the dark, so I can best enjoy the awesome views that surround me, and type out my thoughts in silence. This night I’m feeling pretty lonely, accompanied only by that dull ache in ones heart which presents itself when one is missing something or someone they love.
All of this to say, I am really missing that little Arabian mare, that became such a big part of our lives the last 4 years. It would have been my turn to feed her tonight, as Matt left before her feeding time. I can’t think how many times I thought: I’m so glad we have you, Lady. Even feeding you is a joy. It gets me outside (in the cold) which I would not normally do and it gives me a chance to enjoy the spectacular area in which we live. It brings opportunity to enjoy the smell of the hay, and that inimitable horsey smell that I guess one doesn’t know about unless one has had a horse of their own.