"Language, as well as the faculty of speech, was the immediate gift of God." ~ Noah Webster

Sunday, January 19, 2014


Fashion faux pas*! Have you had any?  I keep trying to say: fashion fou pah pahs…but I think I am mixing that up with brouhaha’s*.  Maybe in my case, they are one in the same. Ah, French! I suppose since I really don’t know the language, it is best left to...the French. Anyway, I know I have had a few fashion mistakes in my life time; most likely many.

Super Man's (or woman's) Cape!
When I was young, I was a lot more concerned with fashion then I am now.  I suspect that is normal. The older one gets, the more a lot of things just don’t matter anymore...at least until we get it figured out, that they still do. ;-)

But I got to thinking about this the other day, because of something that happened. As I was getting ready to go somewhere, I decided I wanted to wear a particular top. It was fairly new, and I had only worn it once. Now I am one of those people that almost always will wash something before I wear it twice. I have just always done that.  Even if I have only worn the item for a short time, I still want it washed. I learned a long time ago, it is better to be safe than sorry. It seems every time I haven’t washed an item after wear, the next time I put it on, I will find a spot. Some people can get away without washing it every wear, but I can’t…never have.

Sure enough it was on this day, as well. Though I had only worn the top a few hours, there were a couple little food spots on my blouse.

Oh, brother! It figures. Anyway, it led me to this post. I started thinking about silly little things that have happened with my choice in clothing. I thought it would make a funny blog post. And I am sure it would!  Like the time I wore the bright pants, because I had gotten them so cheaply; and I was old so I didn’t really care, having finally reached my "price before fashion" days.

“Trying to wake up the neighborhood?” a stranger had said to me.

Or how about the time someone handed down an item to me that she didn’t want anymore. I was pleased to get it and…..never mind.  It would be funny alright, but it is simply too embarrassing to share here!

I do have a couple “make up faux pas” though! Like the time we were running late, (which is often) so I decided to put my make up on in the car (which is also, often). I am just one of those people that must wear makeup. I always have. I look like a completely different person without it… Anyway, it’s my crutch; my super-man’s cape; I rarely go out with out it.  However, I have those “without” stories, too!  I might get to a few of those as well.

But on this particular occasion, I was diligently applying my makeup as my husband drove. I applied my blush, as I often do, making two little round circles on my cheek. Then I simply blend it in with my hand. But this time I forgot to blend! I guess we were talking or something and I got sidetracked.  We went into the event with those two little round, red, (Avon Golden Rose, to be exact) clown circles on my cheek! My husband didn’t say a word!! After the event, when we got back out to the car, I took a peak in the mirror to see how I was fairing. There were those two little round circles giving me my funny clown appearance!

 “Why didn’t you say something??” I exclaimed to my husband.

“I thought you knew what you were doing,” was his answer.

One early morning, Matthew and I were on our way to our bookstore and coffee shop.  We were working 6 days a week, 14 or more hour days at this time, trying to get our store off to a good start. It was always dark as we headed to work, and for the sake of time, I almost always put my makeup on during the drive into the store. I pulled out of my makeup bag, what I thought was my colorless lip gloss.  I applied it to my lips and it felt especially good this morning. My lips were a bit chapped and it felt really soothing. I applied a bit more. When we arrived at the store, Matthew burst out laughing. What I thought had been colorless lip gloss ended up being my white (very white) under eye concealer.  I had big, out-of-bounds, extended, puffy, white, chapped lips. Yikes! To the bathroom to wash!

Then there are the times, I have gone out without my makeup. I yi yi!!  Now most people look great without make up. Both my sisters would fall into this class. However, I am scary without it. I have story after story about this. After 45 years or so, they do add up! Like the time I was working in the factory. We had been working 6 days a week, 10 hour days, and the long hours were starting to catch up with me. We started at 5:00 am which meant I had to get up no later than 4:00 am.  One morning, running late, I showed up to work with no makeup at all. (Read more about my experiences at this factory here.)

But on this particular day, there was a new employee. Now I can’t remember exactly which way it went, but I had worked with this new employee just twice. One day with makeup, and one day without.

I simply remember him saying to me on the second of those two occasions.  “What happened to that other gal that works here?”  You two kind of look alike, but you are much nicer.”  Ouch! I only hope that was the makeup day!  

Then there was the time, when I was working in my yard on the busy street we lived. I mean it was yard work, so I had no makeup on.  Someone I know drove by on the street, and honked and waved.  I knew who it was by the service vehicle markings he was driving, but I hadn’t seen this person in some time. He decided to stop to say hi. He got out of his vehicle and started to walk toward me. As he got closer, he seemed to become confused and turned around to start back to his vehicle.

“Chris,” I called. “What’s up?” 

He turned back around and said, “Oh, it is you!” The closer he had gotten to me, the less he thought it was me. Double ouch!!

We then, had a nice little visit, though he did look a little frightened the entire time.

I have a ton of stories about people not recognizing me when I wore no makeup, but I know this post is getting long.  Let me share the most recent “makeup faux pas” and then I will wind up this silly post.

I was headed out somewhere in my car one day. I am not sure where I was going, but I am sure I had every intention of putting my make up on in my car as I drove the 20 miles or so to town.  Like I said, that is what I do. For safety reasons, I don’t advise that, but it is what I do…always have...though never on the highway; only the calmer roads.

Anyway, before I could get even a quarter of a mile from my house. I saw my neighbor walking her two dogs. I had something I had been meaning to ask her, so I stopped to say hi. But oh my! The look on her face!  I could see she was truly shocked; almost not believing it was me.

Then the cake was taken!  She put her hand up over her eyes and exclaimed, “OOOH, don’t look at me!” It was as if my mascaraless eyes hurt hers.  I laughed, but got away from there quickly!

So there you have a few of my gaffes!  Maybe I will get enough guts some day, and write about some of those other fashion faux pas. Or maybe not!  But today, I simply thought it was time to try to make y’all laugh, as well as give me a chance to speak a little French. ;-)

*Faux pas is a socially awkward or tactless act, especially one that violates accepted social norms, standard customs, or the rules of etiquette; a blunder, gaffe, or error

*brouhaha - great excitement or concern about something; hubbub; uproar

Yeah, in my case, they seem to be one in the same.

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