I was there cleaning last night, as he was finishing up some painting. We had the sliding glass door open as it was such a beautiful evening and I suppose to help alleviate paint fumes.
I had stopped working, and was watching my son finish the last touches of the “Warm Summer” yellow, he was applying to his dining room walls. A flutter from the slider caught my eye; a splash of blue.
“You have bluebirds!” I exclaimed as I stepped outside to look. I looked toward the sky, hoping to see what I thought I had seen. There at the top of one of the majestic pines in his yard sat the bird. But only for a moment. It just as quickly flew west as I watched, which enabled the light to be just right for me to better see. It was a Mountain Bluebird and it took my breath away.
The way it had acted, I almost felt like it may have had a nest somewhere near the house. But it is the wrong time of year for that. They are simply making their final farewells, before they head south for the winter.
I could not have been more excited.
“I will have to put up a couple boxes, this spring,” my son commented as he worked.
I continued to search the sky. I was rewarded. I saw a couple of the beautiful “bluebirds of happiness” dart through the pines.
Now don’t laugh at me. The reason I love them so much is because of my youth. They were very prevalent in our neighborhood when I was growing up. I hadn’t seen any in years, but when we moved to our home in the country almost 12 years ago, our yard was full of them. It simply made me so happy!! I felt like they were a gift from God. Even a sign to assure us we were in the right place.
For some of you this will get corny. But I am a sincere believer that God uses nature, (the sky, the weather, animals) as messages to us; or “signs” for us to interpret. Since my initial visit with the bluebirds in our own yard, there have been several instances where I believe God has used a bluebird to show me His love for me. It doesn’t mean it will be the same for you, but that is what I believe He uses for me.
Now the move for my son into his own home has been somewhat difficult. It is a beautiful home on acreage, which is something he has always wanted. It is a perfect place to raise kids, being on a dead-end street where there will be little traffic. And it is away from all the distractions of the world and city life. It has all the things he had in mind as he selected the home he had always hoped to purchase.
For me, I couldn’t have been happier for him or more pleased with the home he chose. I saw the wisdom in his decision to own rather than rent which would cost almost the same amount of money with no return. With his desire to always have a horse, I understood exactly why he wanted acreage. I could NOT be more proud that at 22 he was not only able to do this, but smart enough as well.
BUT!! He is leaving home! When I think of MYSELF, I am almost mortified! Heartbroken! You know that feeling where you are just on the edge of tears, and your face gets tight and you feel the pressure in your sinuses, because the tears are ready to fall! Yes, that feeling! I am not able to explain it or describe it well, but if you have ever been on the edge of tears, you know what I am talking about. That is how I have been walking around…for days!!! I’m going to be an empty nester! And yes, this IS all about me! ;-) (Just kidding!)
Then, too, it has been a difficult time for my son. Other things in his life have been there to steal his joy from all that he believed to be right. Conflict has been there to rob him of something that should be one of the happiest and proudest moments he will ever experience – the purchase of one’s first home. Still, he has remained steadfast and committed to the decision he made for his someday family. I have watched for years as he worked step-by-step to fulfill that end. He has diligently sought God first in what he believed was the career God planned for his life – a selfless life of giving, but one also that would make a decent living for his family. I don’t mean to sound like I am bragging or building my son up, by saying: “a selfless life of giving”. It is the truth; but it also exactly what my son needs in order to be happy. He simply is not content unless he is doing something for others. He has always been that way. I can’t explain it. It is simply the way God created him. God has His ways for putting men and women in place for the missions He has in mind.
But we are human and sometimes we let doubt get in our way. At least, I do. I think Matt is better at hearing and trusting God than I am. He is unwavering, and I am proud of him for that.
So the truth is, that little bluebird (and a Mountain at that) was put there for me last night. It was my sign – and actually the Bible says it is the weak that require a sign – was given to me by God as an assurance that He’s got this. He has Matthew where He wants him. We don’t always understand, but God never leaves us defenseless or alone. That little bluebird lifted my heart one more time when I once again needed a heart-lift.
I watched my son as he meticulously and carefully applied the final touch to the edge of the wall where the different colors would meet. He wasn’t aware of what I was feeling – “a mama who is only as happy as her saddest child” as the saying goes. But while watching his perfection, and contemplating the “sign” I had just been given, I realized this man his dad and I have raised is firm in his decisions because of the One in whom he trusts. He’s got this…him and God.
I prayed over the house right then. “Lord, please bring many days of happiness here. Keep the wolves at bay and your protection over all. Most of all protect this man’s heart and keep it wholly and solely preserved for You and all that is Your will for his life. Keep him strong and committed and protected...a little joy would go a long way, too. In Your time, bring…
And thank You for Your patience with his lamebrain, “need a sign” mama.