Flowers Are For the Living

We went to a birthday party a while back for a friend who was turning 80. Her kids threw her a beautiful surprise party, complete with appetizers, a meal, and then ending with cake and coffee. The tables were all beautifully decorated with live flowers in pretty teapots.

It truly was a beautiful affair and our friend was quite surprised.

The kids all spoke to the attendees and presented a wonderful slide show of their mom's life. It was all very reminiscent of today's funerals...except of course, it was joyous. One of the daughter's explained the flowers on the table.

"You know how everyone gives you flowers when you die?" She asked. "Well, we wanted to give them to you now, Mom. Flowers should be for the living. You know how everyone gets up at a funeral and says nice things about the deceased? Well, we wanted to do that for you now, so that you will know how much you are loved. We have small note cards on the tables and everyone will write down a memory they have of you, so you can read them later."

It truly was a beautiful sentiment, and found me wishing we had done this for my folks before they had passed. Other than the note cards, it was exactly what we did do at both of their funerals. But then I realized. Oh, wait! We did do this for their birthdays, before they each passed. My mom had a beautiful, surprise 90th birthday party on a warm, summer's day in my sister's back yard. Mama was born a summer girl. Family from both sides came as did many longtime friends. I remember her embarrassment, but more than that I remember her joy.

And we had thrown a 90th party for my dad in the same back yard; later we had an even larger 93rd birthday/going away party, just before he died. We knew he had a very short time to live. And we weren't even sure he would make it to his party. He did, and then lived about 2 weeks longer. We had food, and flowers, music and dance. We made a video of his life and showed it on a big screen. People were able to share their love.

I cannot be more thankful that we gave those parties for them. That kind of delight on their faces and a memory like that is extremely important for them. But it is also important for the kids. It has become a common refrain in our society, that we should send the flowers while one is still here so they are able to enjoy the attention and love while living. And yes. We should.

But this morning, I was reflecting on funerals. My aunt's brother had died and his funeral would be today. I didn't send flowers, but I wondered if I should have. I began reflecting on all the flowers at my folks funerals. I remember each person who took the time to send a bouquet. I remember my sister asking me when my dad had passed and we were preparing. "Should we just ask donations be sent to a favorite charity in lieu of flowers?"

"No." I had simply, but adamantly replied and then I had reasoned:

"Let people send flowers if they like. I don't want a plain church, or a grave undecorated. I want people to know how much they were loved."

And I am glad we did that. Because you see, flowers in actuality, really are for the living.

 

 

Snowflakes

I am a patriotic Republican. I have been my whole life, with the first President, I ever voted for being Richard Nixon. I am a proud Trump supporter and not afraid to acknowledge that. I believe politics in our life is very important. And I also believe we should never be hesitant to talk about that. Those that know me, know that full well. In my opinion, it is silence that kills. That is my philosophy of life. Whether it be the Gospel, the truth in politics or the harmful things of life, I believe we are to speak up. That is just who I am. I do know there are times we are cautioned to remain quiet. And that is equally important at those times.

With that said, there is a place I don't talk about politics and that is at work. I am a strong believer that my company is not paying me to influence, complain, encourage, or whatever else I might be trying to do by talking about the political state of our nation. I have always believed this way. Even when I owned my own business, I refrained from expressing my political views to my customers.

The other day, when I was at work a woman with a "Trump 2020" hat came in. It was a cute hat - not the traditional red, but rather a soft green, camo. Before thinking, I greeted her with "Cute hat! I like it!" And then quickly realizing where I was, I continued "Oh, I probably shouldn't talk about that here."

She answered with "I don't care! I am in Idaho now." And quickly walked away before I could say anything else. That was the full extent of our conversation.

We were very busy that day, and I had been helping a woman in the dressing room. I was on my way to get something for her, when I encountered the woman in the Trump hat. I don't think I ever got back to Ms. Trump 2020. I don't know if she bought anything or found what she was looking for. I am pretty sure she didn't leave without looking further, as she was headed to the back of the store.

A few days later, I was at work again, when I saw our manger and 2 assistant managers talking at the counter. There were no customers in the store. When I approached them coming back from folding tables, my boss asked me, "Did you see a woman with a Trump hat in here the other day?"

"Yes, I saw her; I told her I liked her hat." I replied.

My boss laughed and told the other two, "It was J." And then she proceeded to explain to me. "We just got a nasty email from her. She complained to corporate that someone greeted her, liking her hat and then the employee quickly said under her breath, that she shouldn't talk about that here."  She went on to say how because of that she "would NEVER shop at our company again!" Something to that effect anyway, that is not a complete quote.

 

"Oh my gosh!!!! Really????" Was all I could say. I felt terrible!!!! Now my boss did not reprimand me. She tried to do just the opposite, because she knows me and knows my work ethic and really the person I am. I always try my hardest and she knows it.

My boss is the same way. She is an excellent boss and goes out of her way to please the customer, keep happy employees and run a smooth, tight ship while still having fun. She isn't going to ever see this, so I am not trying to do any schmooozing. It is simply the truth of the type of manager she is and the store she runs.

She knew I felt terrible, I knew she felt terrible. She tries so hard; we all do, to keep from ever getting a complaint like that sent to corporate. I asked if the customer complained about any of the service she had received. She had not.  But that isn't what my post is about. I am merely setting the stage for what I want to address.

The truth is, I wanted to say "FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I AM ASHAMED TO BE A TRUMP SUPPORTER!" (to paraphrase someone from the other side) Good grief. But the truth is, this isn't a reflection of President Trump. That is a reflection of our goofed up, soft, be offended society in which we now find ourselves. What the heck??! I knew the Democrats did this. I didn't think Republicans did.

My first reaction was a desire to find this woman and have a talk with her. We had something in common, after all, and we should be able to converse. I wanted to ask her, just what did you think you were accomplishing? I hadn't said that this was the policy of the company where I worked. I never implied they had a political bias. I thought it was simply a well understood fact that especially a conservative should understand: I don't get paid to talk politics on the job! Period.

I wanted to ask her, Do you realize that you could have gotten me in trouble? And at the very least embarrassed me? Do you care about that? Anyone but yourself and maybe your desire to just create a bit of commotion because that is what seems to be making the news these days - the climate we now live. Are you so sensitive to your support of the President that you feel you need to draw attention to your statement?

I didn't get in trouble, but that is only due to the great company I work for and the awesome boss that I have. You however, Miss Trump 2020 made our whole cause look bad. In your nasty email, you looked just like the "snowflakes" we so often question from the other side. Really? That's how you want Trump supporters to appear?

I would also add (and this is where I will get myself in trouble) your comment, that "[you] are in Idaho, now," I suspect holds the real key to everything. You are in Idaho "NOW". Because you have yet to learn that THAT is not how we do things in Idaho. We are stronger than that, a lot more free...and a heck of a lot more sensible and respectful. But hang in there, keep associating with the right people, praying you understand Idaho soon.

We have snow in Idaho; but not many "snowflakes". Please, don't bring that here. The political climate is out of control. We best get out the shovels.

 

Dare I Say That?

We got some exciting news a few weeks ago. We are going to be grandparents!!

Finally! Dare I say that? Yes. We are the ones that got the whole thing going so late in our lives. lol so I think I can say "finally"! lol

It was cute how the kids told us. I think it was a Saturday afternoon and I got a text from K.

"Do you work today?"

"No," I texted back, "I am off today."

"Are you going to be home?" Curiously musing, now.

"Yes, all day." I replied.

"We will try to stop by for a visit a bit later. We want to bring you a little gift for feeding our horses while we were gone." Suspicious, now; not totally out of character, but not exactly right.

Later that afternoon, they came as promised - carrying a little bag. Sam didn't seem to notice. I did. We sat on the couch a while and caught up on events, but.....something wasn't quite right...they seemed to be looking for an opening. I kept talking...more talkative than usual, I think. I really did want to catch up.

Finally, K & M had a little "Let's just interrupt and get this done," moment. lol  "Well, we brought you something for helping us," K explained and grabbed the bag.

"But wait!" M chimed in. "You have to sit on the couch together. So I can take a picture."

BELLS!!! THIS IS IT! I KNEW.

"Oh you didn't have to do anything," I feigned humility and belief. Ha!

First photo and little sleeper.

Sam was the one to open the bag and he pulled out a little gray sleeper. He turned bright red from excitement when he realized what it meant. He jumped off the couch and ran to hug K. I jumped off the couch and ran to hug M. I got the best hug I have ever had in my life...and tears. Sam and K were laughing. Then we switched hugs and congratulations. And we all laughed! I silently wished I would have gotten dressed, today; or at least put on make up, because M was filming with his phone. :-) When I saw the sleeper, I finally just posed! lol

Sam's most poignant moment? "I just knew when I saw that little sleeper what you were telling us!"

And I laughed even harder...well, duh, I thought. But it was so funny and so real, that I held my tongue. hahaha

Then came the most poignant moment for me. "When is the due date?" I asked.

"June 1st," K unhesitatingly answered. And the date hit my heart, like I had just been given an injection of life. For that was the day my mama had died and this was a God Wink reminding me of the beautiful circle of life.

At this time in my life, He knew I needed that.

We all know that the date is a rough estimation. The baby quite likely won't be born on that exact day. But that's ok. This date was for this moment. And this was my little touch from God. There will be more.

The kids swore us to secrecy for just a few more weeks and we gave our promise. Yesterday, when I got off work, I had received another little text from K. "We have gone public. Let the happy Grandma posts begin!"

Alrighty, then! I went to Facebook. And saw this adorable photo.

 

Oh yeah, this is gonna be fun. Next will be the gender reveal. K is too practical to wait 'til birth. We have preparations to make, after all. It is only wise.

 

I really do like the new trend of the "gender reveals" I think they are so much fun, and I honestly can't wait for that! But it's all ok, because when I saw this photo...pretty doggone sure, I already know. Dare I say that? It kinda just hit my heart.

 

Truthfully, I am thrilled either way. Can you tell?

It Just Seemed Right

I love where I live. I love what we have built here. I love our home. It is a pleasure to take care of all of it. Yes, sometimes I complain. And sometimes I get really, really tired. But the work I have here causes a good tired. There is no stress, no deadlines, no absolute demands, so the work is simply good-feeling, drop-dead tired work.

In past years, I did worry about our hay. I wanted it cut at just the right time, weed free, and a "no-rain" cut. I did stress about that a bit. But I don't worry about it as much any more. As old as we are getting, I no longer expect perfection. I have a "If we don't get what we want, we will just do something else,"  kind of attitude now. It's kinda freeing.

I do still try to do things to the best of my ability. I do not like half-way stuff. It bugs the heck out of me. My grandpa used to say, "If the job's worth doing, it's worth doing right." I can't tell you how many times, when I was working and tired and tempted to give up, that phrase would come running through my head. I would think of Grandpa (and my dad's) perfection and I would tarry on, until I got it right.

The birds are an important part of our life here. I love them. The minute we bought this place and I heard the meadowlarks and saw the bluebirds (both birds from my childhood) I turned into a fanatical old "bird lady". Sometimes I do still stress about the birds. Don't worry though, it's only mildly. But I do take them as my responsibility if they nest here. They are my birds. I want to protect them, aid them and enjoy them. Other than the meadowlarks and bluebirds that I have already mentioned, we have killdeer, mourning doves, northern flickers, and of course the more common birds like sparrows, swallows and robins. We also have chickadees, and this year we had a yellow canary and his mate. That was fun!

The other day I finally made it out to my garden. I hadn't been out there in a couple days due to my job in town. I have a little part time job, that I really enjoy, but sometimes it does run my life. I don't like that part of it so much. That just doesn't seem right. But anyway, I hadn't made it out to my garden for two days, so I wanted to go out and check my cucumbers and beans. I picked a nice bunch of beans and then turned to my cucumbers. I was saddened when as I started to pick, I saw a dead bird between the rows. I looked at it confused. It was whole and fresh. What in the heck could have killed this poor bird. It was a killdeer, I could tell by the long beak. But I wanted to look closer,to try to figure out what could have killed this poor baby. I then looked at the legs to be sure it was a killdeer; I knew the long legs would immediately help me identify it. Now the little body was in no way emaciated or broken down yet, but I still just wasn't sure what kind it was due to the way it was laying, I guess. I couldn't see its head, and his little white belly was facing up. But when I looked at his feet, that is when I saw what I never in a million years would imagine could have happened. One of the runners from the cucumber plant had gotten wrapped around the little bird's foot. It had in effect trapped the bird. When I saw it, I was broken hearted. It was bad enough to find it dead, but when I knew it had suffered, I couldn't help but weep. Why hadn't I heard it call??  Maybe I had, but I ignored it as their persistent call can be pretty frequent. But I was heartbroken. This is the part of living in the country that isn't so much fun.

Now I have found other dead birds before over the years and disposed of them. This is the 3rd one I cried over. The other two were Western Bluebirds. Those stories are for another day. But this little killdeer, was the first one to get a burial. I picked him up with a plastic bag and shovel and took him to my little pet cemetery where I buried him next to Bullet. It just seemed right.

Anyway, I had a lot to do on this day, and I wanted to get to it. I got my lawn mowed and watering caught up. Things I just can't seem to get done if I have to run to town for my little job. I also wanted to finish pulling the obnoxious weed we have acquired in our pasture. MULLEIN! UGH! That weed!

I had already pulled about 2/3rds of the field and was feeling pretty good as I grabbed the 4-wheeler and headed out to the last corner. This had been quite the undertaking in this hot weather. We have discovered there is nothing that kills this weed. We have tried different sprays, we have tried doubling the strength of different sprays. We have tried a mixture of 2-4D and diesel - recommended to us by someone. That worked sort of. A few years ago, I finally got smart and googled to see what is the best way to kill this weed. I learned that the only thing to get rid of this weed, is to make sure your grass comes up in the spring first to choke it out. That makes sense and it truly is the only thing that works. And pulling it out. This summer after we cut our grass and baled hay, the weed started coming up in bare spots where the grass hadn't had time to grow. One step at a time for these pastures to get back to the condition they were in before. Another story for another time.

So anyway, all that to say, this is why I wanted to pull mullein on one of the hottest days of the summer - at least thus far. I don't know if it will help, but it just seemed right. Now, I was almost done and just wanted to finish. I was already tuckered from the garden, mowing the lawn and various other chores I had done through the day, and as I worked, Grandpa's little saying kept running through my head: "If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing right."  That encouraged me. And my thoughts began to wander. Now my little "farm" here is nothing compared to a real farm, or my Grandpa's ranch. But still, for me, it gave me a comparison. I couldn't help but wonder what Grandpa thought as he worked those hot days. He must have surely thought about the Garden of  Eden and Adam and Eve bringing the curse on us all. Yes, I know if they hadn't, we would have. But today, I couldn't help but think about the trouble disobedience brings. I bet Grandpa thought about that too, as he worked.

One thing I know, and thought about often during our years on our little hay farm is that farmers realllllllly count on the weather/elements. You know - "Mother Nature". Rather, Father God! And I have always said the one place other than fox holes, where there are no atheists, must be the farms. Pretty sure, farmers pray. It just seems right.

Oh, and about that mullein -  the bees LOVE it. So therein was another dilemma for me. I hated pulling that stuff thinking I was destroying their food source or what ever it is. The bumble bees were thick and they were the biggest bumble bees I have ever seen. I saw a few that were an inch and a half long. UGH! I know people want the bees protected. And I do try not to destroy them.  I guess it is all about the balance. Pretty sure Grandpa thought about this too. But God said to subdue the land. I also have to think about my horses to give them good hay. So I pulled the mullein. Truthfully sometimes I just don't know what is best to do. So I just pulled mullein and buried the dead. It just seemed right. "If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing right."