I found it interesting, because just a day or two before I
saw that post, I had a similar situation happen to me. Well actually it was the
opposite of her situation. I am not criticizing her for feeling the way she
feels, just offering another perspective.
I had taken my dad, who is 92, into his barber for a
haircut. As we entered the shop, a good sized dog, though obviously still an
untrained "pup", greeted us. The dog ran out the door as I opened it,
then back in and around our legs, like happy dogs will do. As I got him back
inside, it was obvious the owner, a woman barber there, had no control over
this animal. As we moved to a chair, I worried my dad would be tripped or
knocked down. Sure enough, just as he was about to get to his chair, the dog
jumped up on my dad, destabilizing him just a bit. Fortunately I was hanging on
to Daddy by this point. I got my dad safely in his seat, and the owner of the
dog (the lady barber) apologized for what had happened. So did my dad's barber.
I appreciated them both for that.
Conversation continued, and while the Pit kept making his
presence known and interrupting conversation, the owner finally had her
daughter take the dog to another room. I knew the owner felt bad. So I tried to
say something to make her feel better.
Well, being the social idiot that I am, I usually mess up on
things like that. "Is he an English Bull Dog, or a Pit Bull?" I innocently
asked. Someone I love had an English Bull Dog of the same coloring - white. He
had just lost this dog whom he loved dearly and he was on my mind. Further, I
had always known full-bred Pits to be brindle, so I really didn't think this
dog was a Pit. I don't know everything. I don't think a lot of Pit Bulls even
look like Pit Bulls anymore and a lot of people probably wouldn't know one if
they ever saw one anyway.
"He's a Pitbull and he is still a pup," was the
owner's quick response. "They aren't like everyone thinks," she said
defensively. And then a customer in the other barber chair chimed in. "It
depends on how they are raised and on their owner," again it was said in a
slightly defensive manner.
"Dad actually likes dogs, it's ok." I told her and everyone else in the shop,
trying to make light of what had happened and to let them know we weren't
anti-pit. Now, it was probably me
that sounded a bit defensive. Good grief. But I also felt the need to
explain...as I usually do. I don't like to be misunderstood. NO, it's more than
that. I try to avoid it at all costs, probably many times to my detriment. OK,
let me say it this way: I HATE to be
misunderstood and painted in a different light than who I am, or how I really
feel.
I continued my defense, "I'm sure he is fine. It's just
that my mom broke her hip by tripping over my Beagle, so I am a little extra
cautious when elderly are around any animal. They are fragile and not always
real stable on their feet." Anyway, I politely said something to that
effect, just to explain reality, as well as let them know the truth about our
feelings.
BUT, I do not intend to discuss the yays and nays of Pit
Bulls. I really don't know that much about them and I really don't care to know
more than I do. I will never have one. They aren't my breed of choice and that
is OK. I do have what I think is an interesting side-note. One of my best
friend's husband, (then boyfriend) was the first one to ever bring a Pit Bull
into our area. He had two, they were brindle. I think that used to be the norm.
I know they have been bred for fighting...so fighting is in them, by the very
nature of breeding...just like hunting was bred into my Beagle. He comes from a
long line of Rabbit Trackers. He has a nose that just won't quit. That is a
part of his genes. That part of him works first. I think that is probably the
case for SOME Pits in regard to fighting. (And as a side note, if I ever knew someone was using a dog for fighting, I would turn them in, in a heart beat. Don't let me be misunderstood.)
Regardless, I am sure it is possible coloring has been
changed and bred out of some lines of Pit Bulls. I guess they aren't all
brindle anymore; maybe they never were. Like I said, I don't know the breed
that well. And I'm sure there are lines where the fighting has been bred out of
this dog, as well. I am quite sure there are gentle Pit Bulls...especially if
they are not pure bred dogs, like so many are these days...and if they come from a line not bred as fighters. So there. That
is only what I think. That should be OK.
But that isn't my point. My point is, because of past
experiences, or "word on the street", common thought, or whatever,
our views can be distorted just like anyone else's. The people in the barber
shop that day thought I was afraid of Pit Bulls. They made an assumption about me based entirely on the notoriety the
breed has received. They were wrong. But most everyone present let me know it was so - that I am afraid of Pit Bulls and that I thought the dog
shouldn't have been there. Well they were right on one point. I don't think he
should have been there. But it wasn't due to his breed, it was due to the fact
that his owner couldn't handle him. I didn't even know whether the dog was a
Pitbull or an English Bull Dog. He had the coloring of the Bull dog, so that
was my first guess. My fear was that
regardless of the breed, that in the dog's exuberance it would knock over my
dad and hurt him. I would have had the same concern, if it was a Chihuahua
running in and out of his feet. What is right is, until she learned better control
of her dog, he probably should not have been there. At least one person
acknowledged that fact after she left. "That dog is entirely too much for
her," one gentleman observed. Bingo.
So I will leave the subject of dogs, but let me give one
more example to get to the point that I would like to make. One example
triggered the other memory, and I think it's important. Several years ago, I
was teaching Sunday School at a church different than the one I attend now. As
is the case with most churches, it was this church's policy to make sure the
same person pick up the child that was the one to drop off the child - this,
for the child's safety. It was a small church, so they probably weren't as
strict as some churches; nor did they have the fancy numbers, or wrist
bracelets for identification. Nonetheless, we tried to be careful at this
little church.
I remember one time, a grandma dropped off her child to me
at the beginning of the service. I don't remember if the child was male or
female, and I don't remember if the grandma was black or white, or anything
about her. What I do remember is the grandma didn't come back to pick up the
grandchild; the mama did. The mama was one color, the child was another. (Is it
OK to say it that way?) I don't remember which was which. When she came in to
say she was there for her child, I looked a bit confused. You know that
socially awkwardness I often exhibit, that I wrote about earlier. Well, she
immediately thought my confusion was due to the difference in the color of
their skin, and she was obviously irritated with me about it. She let me know
of her dissatisfaction with my reaction, and she let me know without much understanding.
I wasn't as tired and cynical back then as I am now, or I probably would have set
her straight right then and there; explaining exactly what I was thinking and letting her know how wrong her thinking was. But I didn't. I just
politely told her, that I just wanted to be sure of the child's safety and that
I was following the policy of the church that the person that drops off the
child must be the one to pick up the child.
In a larger church, I probably would have been fired,
because I let this woman take the child without questioning her further. It
didn't matter the child knew her. Parental kidnapping happens all the time,
which is the reason for most churches' strict policies. So there. I don't do
nurseries or Sunday School anymore...much too cynical for that or too old, or
socially awkward or whatever...however you want to look at it. But anyway, the
point here, is not the color of
anyone's skin, or difference in skin. The point is once again, this woman assumed something about me that was simply
not true. She assumed my reaction was due to her real or perceived experiences
that may have been similar to what she now thought. Maybe it was only due to
all the usual talk of racism, discrimination, political correctness, or a real
or imagined offense. Who knows? I sure don't. I just didn't like someone
thinking the wrong thing about me and then lecturing me for it.
So now to the point I actually do want to make. I simply wish we could get to the place where we
are all not so easily offended. I wish we more often would give others the
benefit of the doubt, before assuming the worst. I wish we could more easily
see the best in someone rather than the worst. And I wish it was always OK to speak the truth.
As well, on the other hand, I also wish it was OK to make
judgment calls for ones own life. If someone doesn't want to be around Pit Bulls,
that should be ok. This could be a case of walking circumspectly for someone;
or erring on the side of caution. What's wrong with that? Pit Bulls DO have a reputation. We don't have to
LOVE Pit Bulls. That isn't required of us. We won't get away so easily, however,
with not loving angry mamas. We need to love them. But is it ever OK to correct
them? Is it ever OK to stand up for oneself when someone believes the wrong
thing about you? Political Correctness in today's age would have us believe it
is not. Christianity is headed that same route. Don't offend. Ssshhhhh...don't
try to explain. Silence is becoming the norm. Just accept everyone and everything. Those who try
to speak up are frowned upon these days and often badgered into silence.
Many people would simply rather be offended. Just let them,
I guess. That shouldn't be OK, I don't think. We should want better. I do
understand there are times for silence....for biting the tongue. There is
Scripture to back that. I just notice the older I get, the harder it is.
Shouldn't it be the opposite? There is also Scripture that says we should speak
the truth.
SO! The truth is I really love mamas and babies and Pit
Bulls and Chihuahuas. To love mamas and babies is commanded, but I will never
have either of those breeds. That should be OK. Just don't be mad at me for
thinking you know what I am thinking. And please just don't let me be
misunderstood.
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